31.7.08

Story - Keep the Spark Alive

Keep the Spark !!!


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Inaugural Speech for the new batch at the Symbiosis BBA program 2008(c) Chetan Bhagat

Good Morning everyone and thank you for giving me this chance to speakto you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college, leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to become something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are fewdays in human life when one is truly elated. The first day in collegeis one of them. When you were getting ready today, you felt a tinglingin your stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what would theteachers be like, who are my new classmates - there is so much to becurious about. I call this excitement, the spark within you that makesyou feel truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the spark shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if notall the time.Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them.

My 3-yearold twin boys have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make them jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A story from daddy gets them excited. They do a daily countdown forbirthday party - several months in advance - just for the day they willcut their own birthday cake.I see students like you, and I still see some sparks. But when I seeolder people, the spark is difficult to find. That means as we age, thespark fades. People whose spark has faded too much are dull, dejected,aimless and bitter. Remember Kareena in the first half of Jab We Met vs the second half? That is what happens when the spark is lost. So howto save the spark?Imagine the spark to be a lamp's flame. The first aspect is nurturing -to give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard against storms. To nurture, always have goals. It is human nature to strive, improveand achieve full potential. In fact, that is success. It is what ispossible for you. It isn't any external measure - a certain cost tocompany pay package, a particular car or house.Most of us are from middle class families. To us, having materiallandmarks is success and rightly so. When you have grown up where money constraints force everyday choices, financial freedom is a big achievement.But it isn't the purpose of life. If that was the case, Mr Ambani wouldnot show up for work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay at home and not dance any more. Steve Jobs won't be working hard to make a better iPhone, as he sold Pixar for billions of dollars already. Why do they do it? What makes them come to work everyday? They do it because it makes them happy. They do it because it makes themfeel alive.

Just getting better from current levels feels good. If you study hard, you can improve your rank. If you make an effort tointeract with people, you will do better in interviews. If you practice, your cricket will get better. You may also know that you cannot becomeTendulkar, yet. But you can get to the next level. Striving for that next level is important.Nature designed with a random set of genes and circumstances in which we were born. To be happy, we have to accept it and make the most ofnature's design. Are you? Goals will help you do that.I must add, don't just have career or academic goals. Set goals to giveyou a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order.There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup.There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.You must have read some quotes - Life is a tough race, it is a marathon or whatever. No, from what I have seen so far, life is one ofthose races in nursery school. Where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble.Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else,you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of beingexcited and alive, will start to die.One last thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously.One of my yoga teachers used to make students laugh during classes. Onestudent asked him if these jokes would take away something from the yoga practice. The teacher said - don't be serious, be sincere. This quote has defined my work ever since. Whether its my writing, my job, myrelationships or any of my goals. I get thousands of opinions on mywriting everyday. There is heaps of praise, there is intense criticism.If I take it all seriously, how will I write? Or rather, how will Ilive? Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporaryhere. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends.

Do we really need to get so worked up? It's ok, bunk a fewclasses, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not programmed devices.I've told you three things - reasonable goals, balance and not takingit too seriously that will nurture the spark. However, there are four storms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame. Thesemust be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration, unfairness and loneliness of purpose.Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you theexpected return. If things don't go as planned or if you face failure.Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but those that do come outstronger. What did this failure teach me? is the question you will needto ask. You will feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted towhen nine publishers rejected my first book. Some IITians killthemselves over low grades - how silly is that? But that is how muchfailure can hurt you.But it's life. If challenges could always be overcome, they would ceaseto be a challenge. And remember - if you are failing at something, thatmeans you are at your limit or potential. And that's where you want tobe.Disappointment's cousin is frustration, the second storm. Have youever been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This isespecially relevant in India. From traffic jams to getting that job youdeserve, sometimes things take so long that you don't know if you chose the right goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for Bollywood, asI thought they needed writers. I am called extremely lucky, but it tookme five years to get close to a release.Frustration saps excitement, and turns your initial energy intosomething negative, making you a bitter person. How did I deal with it?A realistic assessment of the time involved - movies take a long time tomake even though they are watched quickly, seeking a certain enjoymentin the process rather than the end result - at least I was learning howto write scripts , having a side plan - I had my third book to writeand even something as simple as pleasurable distractions in your life -friends, food, travel can help you overcome it. Remember, nothing is to be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign somewhere, you took it too seriously.Unfairness - this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is how our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful faces, pedigree find it easier to make it - not just in Bollywood, buteverywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck.

There are so few opportunities in India, so many stars need to be aligned for you to make it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to achievement inthe short term, but the long term correlation is high, and ultimately things do work out. But realize, there will be some people luckier thanyou.In fact, to have an opportunity to go to college and understand thisspeech in English means you are pretty darn lucky by Indian standards.Let's be grateful for what we have and get the strength to accept whatwe don't. I have so much love from my readers that other writers cannoteven imagine it. However, I don't get literary praise. It's ok. I don'tlook like Aishwarya Rai, but I have two boys who I think are morebeautiful than her. It's ok. Don't let unfairness kill your spark.Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is isolation. As you grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all kids want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realizeyou are unique. What you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel,may be different from even the people closest to you. This can createconflict as your goals may not match with others. . And you may dropsome of them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop playing basketball by the time they have their second child. They give upsomething that meant so much to them. They do it for their family. But in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise.

Love yourself first, and then others.There you go. I've told you the four thunderstorms - disappointment,frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like the monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You justneed to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die.I welcome you again to the most wonderful years of your life. If someone gave me the choice to go back in time, I will surely choose college. But I also hope that ten years later as well, you eyes willshine the same way as they do today. That you will Keep the Spark alive,not only through college, but through the next 2,500 weekends. And Ihope not just you, but my whole country will keep that spark alive, aswe really need it now more than any moment in history. And there issomething cool about saying - I come from the land of a billion sparks.

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