Weight Loss Plan

A man calls a company and orders their 7-day, 10 kg. weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.
The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

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Without a second thought, he takes off after her.
A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.

The same girl shows up for the next six days and the same thing happens.
On the seventh day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 kgs. as promised.

He calls the company and orders their 7-day/20 kg program.
The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning and beautiful woman he has ever seen in his life.

She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me."
Well, he's out the door after her like a shot.

This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck.
So for the next six days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

Much to his delight on the seventh day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 kgs. as promised.

He decides to go all out and calls the company to order the 10-day/50 kg program.
"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."

"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."
The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, “If I catch you, you are mine!!!"

He lost 63 kgs that week...

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Beautiful Pictures - Humour

On their first night to be together, the newly wed couple go to
change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all
showered and wearing her beautiful robe. The proud husband
says, "my dear, we are married now, you can open your robe."

The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is
astonished. "Oh, oh, aaaahhh," he exclaims, "My God you are
so beautiful, let me take your picture."

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Puzzled she asks, "MY picture?"



He answers, "yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to
my heart forever".

She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into
the bathroom to shower.

He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife asks, "why do
you wear a robe? We are married now." at that the man opens
his robe and she exclaims, "oh, OH, OH MY, let me get a
picture".

He beams and asks, "why?"

She answers, "SO I CAN GET IT ENLARGED"!

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Think Out Of The Box...

Many years ago, somewhere in a small village, a farmer had the misfortune Of owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender. The moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer's beautiful daughter. So he proposed a bargain. He said he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the proposal.

So the cunning money-lender suggested that they let LUCK decide the matter.
He told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. Then the girl would Have to pick one pebble from the bag.

1) If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven.

2) If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven.

3) But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into Jail.

They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer's field. As they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the bag. He then asked the girl to pick a pebble from the bag.

Now, imagine that you were standing in the field. What would you have done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you have told her?

Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:

1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.(Her father will be thrown in jail.)

2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag and expose the money-lender as a cheat.(But the money will still be owed.)

3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order To save her father from his debt and imprisonment.(Girl will have to marry the cruel lender.)

Take a moment to ponder over the story. The above story is used with the hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral and logical thinking. Think of the consequences if she chooses the above logical answers.

What would you recommend to the Girl to do?

GIVE UP?

Well, here is what she did ....

The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path Where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.

"Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into the Bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked."

Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had picked the white one. And since the money-lender dared not admit his dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into an extremely advantageous one.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Most complex problems do have a solution. If only we Think Logically and Out of the Box...

How To Make A Baby

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and
decided to use a surrogate father to start their
family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive,
Mr. Smith kissed his wife. Jo, goodbye and said,
'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'


Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door
baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell,
hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he
said, 'I've come to...'


'Oh, no need to explain,' Jo cut in, embarrassed,
'I've been expecting you.'


'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well,
that's good. Did you know babies are my
specialty?'


'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped.
Please come in and have a seat'.


After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where
do we start?'


'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the
bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on
the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is
fun. You can really spread out there.'


'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't
work out for Harry and me!'


'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one
every time. But if we try several different
positions and I shoot from six or seven angles,
I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'


'My, that's a lot!', gasped Jo.


'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his
time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes,
but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'


'Don't I know it,' said Jo quietly.


The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled
out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was
done on the top of a bus,' he said.


'Oh, my word!' Jo exclaimed, grasping at her
throat.


'And these twins turned out exceptionally well -
when you consider their mother was so difficult to
work with.'


'She was difficult?' asked Jo.


'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to
the park to get the job done right. People were
crowding around four and five deep to get a good
look'


'Four and five deep?' said Jo, her eyes wide with
amazement.


'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more
than three hours, too.
The mother was constantly squealing and yelling -
I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness
approached I had to rush my shots.
Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my
equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'


Jo leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually
chewed on your, uh...equipment?'


'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready,
I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right
away.'


'Tripod?'


'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my
Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand
for very long.'


Mrs. Smith fainted.....

Story - Express Your Love Before Its Late

Express Your Love Before Its Late
It's another morning..... .. Again I have to go to office.

Ohh, this is me... I shouted having a glance on my snap in today's news paper.

But what the HELL it is doing in the death column??

Strange...

One sec... Let me think, last night when I was going to bed I had a
severe pain in my chest, but I don't remember anything after that, I
think I had a sound sleep.

Its morning now, ohh..... It's already 10:00 AM, where is my coffee?

I will be late for office and my boss will get a chance to irritate me.

Where is everyone...? ?? I screamed.

"I think there is a crowed outside my room, let me check." I said to myself.

So many people..... Not all of them crying...

But why some of them crying...

WHAT IS THIS??? I m laying there on the floor...

"I AM HERE" ... I shouted!!! No one listen.

"LOOK I AM NOT DEAD" ... I screamed once again!!! No one is interested in me.

They all were looking me on the bed.

I went back to my bed room.

"Am I dead??" I asked myself.

Where is my wife, my children, my mom-DAD, my friends?

I found them in the next room, all of them were crying... still trying
to console each other.

My wife was crying... she was really looking sad...

My little kid was not sure what happened, but he was crying just coz
his mom was sad.

How can I go without saying my kid that I really love him, I really do
care of him. ??

How can I go without saying my wife that she is really most beautiful
and most caring wife in this world..??

How can I go without saying my parents that I m ... just because of u ??

How can I go without telling my friends that without them perhaps I
have done most of the wrong things in my life... thanks for being
there always when I need them... and sorry for not being there when
they really need me..

I can see a person standing in the corner and trying to hide his tears...

Ohh... he was once my best friend, but a small misunderstanding made
us part, and we both have strong enough ego to keep us disconnect.

I went there.. And offered him my hand, "Dear friend... I just want to
say sorry for everything, we r still best friend, please forgive me."

No response from other side, what the hell?? He is still preserving
his ego, I am saying sorry..... even then!!!

I really don't care for such people.

But one sec.... it seems he is not able to see me!!!! He did not see
my extended hand.

My goodness... AM I REALLY DEAD???

I just sat down near ME; I was also feeling like crying...

"OHH ALMIGHTY!!!! PLEASE JUST GIVE ME FEW MORE DAYS..."

I just wasn't to make my wife, my parents; my friends realize that how
much I love them.

My wife entered in the room, she looks beautiful.

"YOU R BEAUTIFUL" I shouted.

She didn't hear my words, in fact she never heard these words coz I
never said this to her.

"GOD!!!!" I screamed... a little more time plzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. .

I cried...

One more chance please.... to hug my child, to make my mom smile just
once, to feel my dad proud on me at least for a moment, to say sorry
to my friends for everything I have not given to them, and thanks for
still being in my life....

Then I looked up and cried!!!!

I shouted....

"GOD!!!! ONE MORE CHANCE PLEASE!!!!"

"You shouted in your sleep," said my wife as she gently woke me up.
"Did you have a nightmare?"

I was sleeping..... .

Ohh that was just a dream....

My wife was there... she can hear me...

This is the happiest moment of my life...

I hugged her and whispered... . "U R THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND CARING WIFE
IN THIS UNIVERSE.... I REALLY LOVE U DEAR"

I can't understand the reason of the smile on her face with some tears
in her eyes, still I m happy....

"THANK YOU GOD FOR THIS SECOND? CHANCE."

SO, Now it's not late.. forget Ur Egos, Past... and Xpress Ur love to others... Be friendly... Keep smiling..... for ever.......

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